Lesbians love golf. I think it’s because we’re encouraged to wear polo shirts and pleated shorts. Not to mention sweater vests and visors. What's really awesome is being able to stroll off the 18th fairway and go straight to a coffee date at Starbucks without having to change outfits.
Photo: LPGA.com
It's simple really:
- Find a woman whose online profile you fancy.
- Analyze every detail of the three blurry, poorly sized photos she posted.
- Assume intimacy because you know her astrological sign and preferences when it comes to her date's alcohol consumption.
- Overshare and overshare some more in lengthy email conversations.
- Declare your love after the fifth email.
- Finally arrange to meet (in person!) your long-awaited soulmate and the woman of your dreams.
- Within 15 minutes of meeting become crushed, bewildered, jaded and angry when she turns out to be nothing like you imagined.
- Go home.
- Never contact her again.
- Swear off online dating because you never meet anyone normal.
Photo: someecards
Lesbians are martyrs carrying student loan debt. We take it upon ourselves to cure the world of its ills and help the less fortunate. Hence, we sign up for years of graduate school in order to earn advanced degrees in lucrative fields such as education, social work, and public policy. You're welcome.
Photo: someecards
This is the #1 way to spot a lesbian. It does not even occur to straight women to shove their hands deep into the front pockets of their jeans. If you really want to beep on the Gaydar, stand with your legs slightly apart and knees locked. This is known as The Stance. Practice makes perfect.
Photo: preciouskhyatt
Lesbians are busy. So busy, in fact, we cannot be bothered to style or cut our hair in any discernible manner. We don't want to shave it off, but we don't want to commit to any semblance of an actual haircut either, so our hair ends up looking as if it's been groomed at night by Flowbee-wielding Gremlins, and uninspired ones at that. And that folks, is what they call The Nondescript.
Photo: Flowbee
#8 Go to a bar, see a cute girl, discuss her with your friends, watch her all night, never talk to her and go home.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008 | Labels: dating
We lesbians are a shy bunch. It's a miracle we ever get together. We prefer to hide under the brims of our baseball caps and post desperate, cryptic "Missed Connections" on Craigslist the next day.
Photo: someecards
Many active lesbians prefer to wear their hair in a ponytail at all times. It helps us cultivate an image of 24/7 casual sportiness, which in turn gives us recreational athlete street cred. Ideally, the ponytail is pulled so tight and slick the slightest vibration will cause an eye to pop out. Sporty femmes purchase 14% of all eye patches sold in the U.S. every year.
Photo: University of Texas
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